How I work
My Counselling studio is based right in the centre of London, in two locations – Bloomsbury, close to Covent Garden and Shoreditch, within the heart of the city. This makes it easy to reach for most people living and working in and around the city.
The first session is for us to get to know each other and check that I’m the right therapist to suit your needs. It’s important that you both feel comfortable working with me.
In my work with couples I have a coaching approach, which is very different to how I would work with individuals. I see my job as coaching couples into new ways of communicating and expressing themselves that serves both sides equally. No one teaches us how to be in a relationship. We learn most from our parents or carers who may also have struggled. Therefore, couples therapy is partly and educational process in which you can learn new ways in which to relate to one another.
Whilst there are important elements to our work that involves each individual, the focus of our work together is the relationship itself. This, I describe as the invisible space that exists between you, co-created by the two of you and unique to your relationship and I aim to help you understand this space better.
At the heart of my work is addressing a – ‘loss of connection’. Whether this is with each other or with yourself, my work is often about finding ways to reconnect. Part of this is the importance of ‘mirroring’. This simple tool, which I apply in many different ways, facilitates clear expression of thoughts and feelings and, most importantly, active listening. ‘Listening’ and ‘being heard’ are two vital components in getting back into connection and creating a safer relationship space.
All individuals within a couple are encouraged to get a physical journal for the purposes of therapy. This is so that you can write down the various ideas and techniques I’ll be giving you to practice in between sessions. It is also used to write down the content of the sessions afterwards so that you have a record of our work together. It’s also useful to record things like dreams and ideas or incidents that occur between sessions.
I work with both gay and heterosexual couples and I do believe that our relationship, however challenging they may be at times, offer us an opportunity to understand ourselves better and to heal the disappointments of the past. We are all social creatures longing for better and more fulfilling connection and therapy can certainly help facilitate this.